<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>The Seven by writeskatelive</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23245849">The Seven</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/writeskatelive/pseuds/writeskatelive'>writeskatelive</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Figure Skating RPF, six the musical</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Ex wives, F/M, Musical, Revenge</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 15:26:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,623</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23245849</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/writeskatelive/pseuds/writeskatelive</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Nikolai Morozov's seven ex-lovers take turns spilling the tea about the mysterious Casanova of the figure skating world in a musical production.</p><p>This is based on the Broadway musical "Six", which turns the stories of the six wives of Henry VIII into a fabulous musical. Thanks so much to my friend Meaghan for giving me the idea!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Caroline Douarin and Nikolai Morozov, Elena Ilinykh/Nikolai Morozov, Ksenia Stolbova and Nikolai Morozov, Miki Ando and Nikolai Morozov, Shae-Lynn Bourne and Nikolai Morozov, Tatiana Navka and Nikolai Morozov, Vasilisa Davankova and Nikolai Morozov</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Friday Night Tea</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>ACT ONE: A crowded bar, the Samovar.</p><p>ENSEMBLE:<br/>It’s a Friday night in Moscow<br/>That’s when we spill the tea<br/>Give me something shocking<br/>Come now, put your trust in me</p><p>If you’re down for drama<br/>You don’t have to look too far<br/>Get your daily gossip<br/>Straight from the Samovar</p><p>Who cares if it’s true?<br/>Who cares if it’s right?<br/>We’re awfully fond of vodka<br/>But we’re here for tea tonight</p><p>YULIA LIPNITSKAYA:<br/>Madame Eteri got new lips</p><p>ALEXANDER SMIRNOV:<br/>Korovin gave his girl the slip</p><p>EKATERINA BOBROVA:<br/>I heard those two Bohemians have joined the Cabaret</p><p>KONSTANTIN MENSHOV:<br/>No longer does Kolyada have a runny nose all day!</p><p>MAXIM TRANKOV:<br/>Stolbova’s off to God-knows-where</p><p>ELENA RADIONOVA:<br/>Medvedeva has cut her hair!</p><p>TIFFANI ZAKHORSKI:<br/>The men are in a medal drought</p><p>ANNA POGORILAYA:<br/>Katsalapov got kicked out!</p><p>ENSEMBLE:<br/>Who cares if it’s true?<br/>Who cares if it’s right?<br/>We’re awfully fond of vodka<br/>But we’re here for tea tonight</p><p>YULIA LIPNITSKAYA:<br/>In Moscow, things are getting bad</p><p>ALEXANDER SMIRNOV:<br/>‘Cause Grandma TAT is blazing mad!</p><p>EKATERINA BOBROVA:<br/>I heard Christmas dinner didn’t go well</p><p>KONSTANTIN MENSHOV:<br/>She told the fools to go to hell!</p><p>MAXIM TRANKOV:<br/>Yagudin’s taken up the bottle</p><p>ELENA RADIONOVA:<br/>Zhulin met a supermodel</p><p>TIFFANI ZAKHORSKI:<br/>Sotnikova’s found an actor</p><p>ANNA POGORILAYA:<br/>Plushenko needs a chiropractor!</p><p>ENSEMBLE:<br/>Who cares if it’s true?<br/>Who cares if it’s right?<br/>We’re awfully fond of vodka<br/>But we’re here for tea tonight</p><p>YULIA LIPNITSKAYA:<br/>Tarasova’s with Sochi’s Gomez Addams</p><p>ALEXANDER SMIRNOV:<br/>What happened to her and Candyman?</p><p>EKATERINA BOBROVA:<br/>It seems that Fedor started looking elsewhere</p><p>KONSTANTIN MENSHOV:<br/>After his own partner got the ban</p><p>MAXIM TRANKOV:<br/>Zabiiako and Enbert called it quits</p><p>ELENA RADIONOVA:<br/>What’s with all these tragic splits?</p><p>TIFFANI ZAKHORSKI:<br/>Now Mozer’s got no one at all</p><p>ANNA POGORILAYA:<br/>Moskvina’s playing basketball!</p><p>ENSEMBLE gasps.</p><p>ALEXANDER SMIRNOV (spoken):<br/>Now that can’t be!</p><p>ANNA POGORILAYA (spoken, shrugging):<br/>It’s no more bizarre than the previous three.</p><p>ENSEMBLE:<br/>Who cares if it’s true?<br/>Who cares if it’s right?<br/>We’re awfully fond of vodka<br/>But we’re here for tea tonight</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. First</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>MAXIM TRANKOV:<br/>Heard it on the street, it’s just as I thought<br/>Don’t know if it’s true<br/>But apparently it seems Morozov tied the knot</p><p>ENSEMBLE (spoken):<br/>Old news!</p><p>MAXIM TRANKOV:<br/>Hold up, hold up, listen to the end!<br/>I didn’t even tell you about his new friend!</p><p>TATIANA NAVKA (lounging glamorously at a table in the corner, looking bored):<br/>No one cares about her name<br/>Seven times, it’s still the same<br/>He’ll take any hussy if she’s young, thin, and dumb,<br/>Then trade her in and throw her out by twenty-one</p><p>ALEXANDER SMIRNOV:<br/>Pardon me, Madame, but I’m curious<br/>Where on earth did you hear of this?</p><p>TATIANA NAVKA:<br/>It’s the same story every time<br/>A mystery man and his little bride<br/>Swept away in lust and thirst<br/>Trust me, honey, I was the first</p><p>EKATERINA BOBROVA (spoken):<br/>No way!</p><p>TIFFANI ZAKHORSKI (spoken):<br/>You lie!</p><p>TATIANA NAVKA:<br/>Once you hear it from my lips, I’ll let you decide!<br/>(turns to the band)<br/>Give me a F sharp, maestro</p><p>You see a lady-killer<br/>So distinguished, suave, and cool<br/>You know the Casanova<br/>But I knew him as a fool</p><p>It was summer of ‘96<br/>I was a Monroe in my own right<br/>They tell me, “Go talk to this fellow.”<br/>Now he wants me at first sight</p><p>It was really quite amusing<br/>This little boy was so obsessed<br/>Messy curls and eyes like saucers<br/>Trying so hard to impress<br/>No fortune, no fame<br/>Not a ruble to his name<br/>Shy and eager enough to burst<br/>I like to think I was his first</p><p>He was oh-so persistent, but I had to turn him down<br/>I had everything I wanted, I had nothing to gain<br/>What does Marilyn need with a Charlie Brown?<br/>But you know, green cards are a pain</p><p>White dress, gold rings, borrowed things, old things<br/>He got everything he desired<br/>I was his little dream, his goddess, his queen<br/>But sometimes I got tired</p><p>You see, I felt a calling from up above<br/>That I was meant for more than love<br/>And he could never be enough<br/>All his passion, all his thirst<br/>Couldn’t keep me for better or worse<br/>‘Cause I was destined to finish first</p><p>The part that still makes no sense<br/>Is why he was the one who strayed<br/>But I guess Charles found Camilla<br/>And my Kolya found the maid</p><p>What can I say?<br/>What else was I to do?<br/>I signed the papers with the court<br/>He got the money in the divorce<br/>But I was free for someone new<br/>I met a daddy who could fill my purse<br/>And now I always finish first</p><p>I suppose you’re wondering what happened to my little man<br/>Well, he found himself a French girl and he swears that she’s his first<br/>But after he slipped off my ring, all his weddings have been cursed</p><p>Morozov is wed again<br/>A new girl in his bed again<br/>At least that’s what they said again<br/>I guess karma is the best medicine!</p><p>He lives it up like Hefner<br/>But you know how bunnies run<br/>He thinks he’s some kind of James Bond<br/>But in the end, I got his gun</p><p>Take my warning, ladies<br/>His wedding car is like the hearse<br/>When Morozov says he wants you<br/>Believe me, you’re not the first</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Nothing but a Mother</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>MAXIM TRANKOV (spoken):<br/>Yeah, yeah, we get it. He’s a player.</p><p>TATIANA NAVKA (spoken):<br/>Oh, you don’t know the half of it. That poor French girl barely made it a month before he left her for someone else.</p><p>CAROLINE DOUARIN:<br/>That’s not true.</p><p>TATIANA NAVKA:<br/>Who the hell are you?</p><p>CAROLINE DOUARIN (spoken):<br/>The “French girl” you spoke of. But you don’t know my story.</p><p>TATIANA NAVKA (spoken):<br/>Well, speak up, girl.</p><p>CAROLINE:<br/>You don’t know me<br/>You don’t know my face<br/>When they talk of all his conquests, they never mention me<br/>I vanished from their history without a single trace</p><p>They never saw me, they don’t speak my name<br/>For I am not like you with all your worldwide acclaim<br/>I was a simple girl, dreaming of love<br/>And he was the man that I dreamed of<br/>He told me dark tales of his cunning first wife<br/>A conniving social climber with a heart of ice</p><p>TATIANA NAVKA (spoken):<br/>Rude!</p><p>CAROLINE DOUARIN:<br/>He ran straight to me, he lamented and cried<br/>And I took him home with my arms open wide<br/>He said he was broken, he needed a friend<br/>He said my kisses helped his poor heart mend</p><p>He was worldly and wise and had stars in his eyes<br/>He showed me a world I never knew<br/>He was clever and sweet and he made me complete<br/>And I believed him when he said, “I love only you”</p><p>Then he got on one knee and all I could see<br/>Was the future, so bright in my eyes<br/>I saw our great-grandkids, our white picket fence<br/>Every Friday, I would bake strawberry pie<br/>And I swore to never love another<br/>I’d be his wife and his children’s mother</p><p>It all happened so fast, I still remember the day<br/>When I told him the glorious news<br/>He smiled and kissed me and said “Hope it’s a boy”<br/>I never guessed he had a secret too<br/>He was overjoyed to call me a mother<br/>I never dreamed he’d find another</p><p>He was a wanderer, a restless young soul<br/>He roamed the world, wild and free<br/>Until one day, he found another<br/>And left me as nothing but a mother</p><p>A beautiful girl,<br/>My little Annabelle<br/>Full of sunshine and love and heaven’s life<br/>Nikolai adored her,<br/>He treated her well<br/>And he tolerated the woman who gave her life</p><p>And I stayed by his side,<br/>But on long nights, I cried<br/>For I knew why he didn’t come home<br/>She was flirty and hot<br/>Everything I was not<br/>But it still cut me to the bone</p><p>Five years I endured with his ring on my hand<br/>A wife by name, a stranger in truth<br/>I should have run when I had the chance<br/>Instead, he took everything I had<br/>And there was nothing I could do</p><p>He took all the fortune and all the fame<br/>He left me with nothing when he took back his name<br/>He gave it all to the woman he loved at night<br/>And that was all right<br/>But there are some things that one cannot forgive<br/>He snatched away my sole reason to live<br/>He ripped my darling daughter from my arms<br/>To live with him and his new bride<br/>And all my pleas fell on deaf ears<br/>I reached out, but my hands were tied<br/>And I hated him like I hated no other<br/>Who could steal a child from her mother?</p><p>Alone and abandoned, with nowhere to go<br/>But in the darkness, I examined my soul<br/>My name is not “Morozov’s wife”<br/>My name is Caroline!</p><p>BACKUP SINGERS:<br/>Her name is Caroline!</p><p>CAROLINE DOUARIN:<br/>I put in the work, I served my time<br/>Still he left me for another<br/>It’s not my fault, for now I realize<br/>He’s nothing but a mother!</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Charming</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>ANNA POGORILAYA (spoken):<br/>
Well, damn.</p><p>ELENA RADIONOVA (spoken):<br/>
I’m sure whoever he left you for couldn’t have been that great.</p><p>MAXIM TRANKOV:<br/>
A big-haired, small-minded floozy.</p><p>ALEXANDER SMIRNOV:<br/>
I don’t think Morozov’s too choosy.</p><p>ANNA POGORILAYA:<br/>
Some silicone dime-a-dozen hoe</p><p>ELENA RADIONOVA:<br/>
Whose glory days were a long, long time ago</p><p>EKATERINA BOBROVA:<br/>
Well, I’m not one to judge<br/>
But she must’ve been quite a Jezebel</p><p>ANNA POGORILAYA:<br/>
I’d like to find both of them<br/>
And kick them all the way to Hell!</p><p>TIFFANI ZAKHORSKI:<br/>
Do you mind if I ask a question?<br/>
‘Cause I still don’t understand<br/>
What kind of heartless, soulless chick<br/>
Would try to steal your man?</p><p>SHAE-LYNN BOURNE (spoken):<br/>
I did.</p><p>Ensembles GASPS.</p><p>SHAE-LYNN BOURNE (spoken):<br/>
But I’m not who you think I am.</p><p>MAXIM TRANKOV (spoken):<br/>
You just confessed to messing around with her husband<br/>
What can you say to that?</p><p>SHAE-LYNN BOURNE:<br/>
Homewrecker, third wheel<br/>
I’ve heard it all before<br/>
Femme fatale, hell in heels<br/>
For every one I hear, there’s a dozen more</p><p>Shameless vamp, filthy tramp<br/>
Earning her keep in her sleep<br/>
It’s easy to judge when you’ve never been there<br/>
It’s easy to talk when you really don’t care</p><p>Prince Charming up on your white horse<br/>
It’s so cruel of you to look so fine<br/>
Prince Charming, you make me crazy<br/>
No one can understand how much I need you to be mine</p><p>The turn of a century, the start of something new<br/>
The minute our eyes met, I knew<br/>
That we could never stay just friends<br/>
He had that special something, a 2000s James Dean<br/>
A certain charisma that I’d never seen<br/>
After five minutes, I knew I’d love him till the end</p><p>He was everything I dreamed of, except the silver ‘round his finger<br/>
I asked him about it and he said it was no big deal<br/>
He said, “Don’t worry, hon,<br/>
We can still have fun<br/>
I’ll give my wife the slip before the day is done<br/>
‘Cause there’s no stopping the way you make me feel.”</p><p>Prince Charming up on your white horse<br/>
I’d wait a million years for your love<br/>
Prince Charming, you make me crazy<br/>
Our hearts fit together, like fingers in a glove</p><p>Summer nights in Connecticut, weekends driving to Maine<br/>
He was a player, but I loved the game<br/>
Billie Jean, dancing queen<br/>
Caught up in a teenage dream<br/>
Romeo and Juliet, sneaking out the back<br/>
I guess I never noticed everything he lacked</p><p>Prince Charming up on your white horse<br/>
It’s so cruel of you to drag your feet<br/>
Prince Charming, you make me crazy<br/>
I want to be your everything, the reason your heart beats</p><p>I knew it was wrong, I ain’t gonna lie<br/>
But we had this magic I couldn’t deny<br/>
And after five years of waiting, he came home with a smile<br/>
He signed all the papers, he was a free man again<br/>
We ran off to the chapel, together at last<br/>
How could something so beautiful be a cardinal sin?</p><p>New York apartment, living it up<br/>
Daisy and Gatsby, dancing till dawn<br/>
Keep the liquor flowing, fill up my cup<br/>
Never close your eyes, or it’ll be gone<br/>
Whirlwind, twirling, can’t come down<br/>
We keep spinning till we die<br/>
But when the party crowd went home<br/>
I realized our love had run dry</p><p>When I finished crying, I woke up sober<br/>
A homecoming queen, but high school is over</p><p>Prince Charming up on your white horse<br/>
It’s so cruel of you to break my heart<br/>
Prince Charming, you make me crazy<br/>
And now I understand we were hopeless from the start</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Brad Pitt</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>SHAE-LYNN BOURNE (spoken):<br/>I ask you all a question.<br/>(sung)<br/>How am I the villain?<br/>How am I to blame?<br/>Why am I the only bad guy<br/>When you know he did the same?</p><p>They all call me a hooker<br/>But he’s the one who wanted more<br/>I can’t help that I’m a looker<br/>So why don’t you call him the whore?<br/>I’m not saying I’m an angel<br/>But the real tramp ain’t me<br/>It takes two to tango<br/>And for Nikolai, it was three<br/>I’m not saying I’m innocent<br/>I was an Angie, I’ll admit<br/>(turns to Caroline)<br/>Jenny, I’m so sorry<br/>But you should really blame Brad Pitt</p><p>TATIANA NAVKA (spoken):<br/>Oh, you give him too much credit.</p><p>MAXIM TRANKOV (spoken):<br/>Okay, okay, we get the picture. Three wives in nine years. Let me guess: he started up with a new girl a month after you two split up.</p><p>SHAE-LYNN BOURNE (spoken):<br/>Actually, no. You see…he was in a bad way.</p><p>ADAM RIPPON (spoken, from the corner of the bar):<br/>Oh, honey, you don’t know the half of it.</p><p>(All heads in the bar turn to Adam. He smiles at the attention, then serves diva face into the camera. The band starts playing a 1980s rhythm).</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Jersey Shore</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Adam Rippon gossips about Nikolai's lifestyle after his divorce from Shae-Lynn.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>ADAM RIPPON:<br/>Tonight, I'm gonna have myself a real good time<br/>I feel alive and the world I'll turn it inside out, yeah<br/>And floating around in ecstasy<br/>So don't stop me now<br/>Don't stop me<br/>'Cause I'm having a good time, having a good time</p><p>(spoken)<br/>Oh, that’s not the story, I just wanted to channel my inner Mercury there.</p><p>(sung in the style of a dramatic pop ballad)<br/>When I was young – well, girl, I’m still young!<br/>Before I got all this fortune and fame<br/>Just a poor boy – hell, I still had ringlets!<br/>And nobody knew my name<br/>I believed in my dreams, I would defy the odds<br/>I knew my destiny was up in lights<br/>But I needed someone to rescue me from this tired little life</p><p>(disco beat starts)<br/>I was a Penn State boy, down on the Jersey shore<br/>Looking through windows at all this shit I couldn’t afford<br/>But when you’re in Jersey you<br/>Do as the Jerseys do</p><p>(spoken)<br/>Jerseys? Is that even a thing?</p><p>(singing, while making his way between the tables)<br/>Well Nick was the kind of guy<br/>Who seemed to have everything<br/>Gucci, Prada, Chanel, oh my!<br/>And don’t forget those three wedding rings<br/>The envy! The envy!</p><p>(stands up on the table)</p><p>He’s the real hot big shot, man of the hour<br/>The Elvis, the Gaga, he got the power<br/>A little bit Machiavellian<br/>A whole lot of Kardashian<br/>He’s the Bruce Wayne, Citizen Kane<br/>Tony Stark with all the hullaballoo<br/>Scratch that, he’s the Russian Donald Trump<br/>I voted blue and honey so should you</p><p>(laughs, spoken)<br/>So, yeah, anyways, back to the point</p><p>(singing, in the style of a 1980s rock star)<br/>Nick was rolling in the dough<br/>Things were going south with his third wife tho<br/>When the divorce was set and done,<br/>He met a mistress called Rum<br/>Or whiskey, or vodka, or a good old Bud Lite<br/>The nights were long and wild<br/>He lost all his sense of style<br/>Come on man, time to pick up your life</p><p>The debt started racking up<br/>His problems kept on stacking up<br/>All his money, chicks, and cars couldn’t get him dry<br/>He was down in the dumps, I’m not gonna lie</p><p>I moved a long way from Jersey, so I don’t know the rest<br/>But if you saw him back then – well, God bless<br/>I ain’t trying to throw shade, I mean we all got our shit– </p><p>MIKI ANDO:<br/>Oh, Lord, would you just sit!</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Sunflower</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Miki Ando talks about her turbulent relationship with Nikolai.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>MIKI ANDO:<br/>I was an overachiever<br/>A fearless believer<br/>I was inventing tricks and trying things no one had ever seen<br/>A daring young leader<br/>A tireless dreamer<br/>I was moving Everest on my own before I turned fifteen</p><p>I wanted the spotlight, I wanted the glory<br/>I wanted the world to tell my story<br/>This strange foreign man<br/>Took my heart, took my hand<br/>And promised me a dream<br/>He swept me off my feet<br/>Put my name on the street<br/>But things weren’t what they seemed</p><p>Every minute with you was a thousand and one nights,<br/>A thousand and one days<br/>Crawling on my knees and begging, but you’d leave anyway<br/>Every memory of you is a thousand and one nights,<br/>A thousand and one days<br/>Lying on the floor and crying, asking God why you won’t stay<br/>I ran through hell a thousand times to lie on your bed of nails</p><p>Wake up to morning sun and crystal skies<br/>You say you forgive me, I don’t know why<br/>How long until you remember to be cruel again?<br/>You hold me close, keep me safe and warm<br/>But then you cast me out in the thunderstorm<br/>A thousand times, I’ve thought about the end</p><p>They tell me to run, before I come undone<br/>But they don’t feel the way you touch me<br/>They don’t hear your sweet whispers<br/>Telling me you love me<br/>And even though I know you’ll change your mind tomorrow<br/>When you smile at me, I can almost see<br/>The man I still adore<br/>I forget the lies, I forgive your crimes<br/>I erase the night before</p><p>Every minute with you was a thousand and one nights,<br/>A thousand and one days<br/>Crawling on my knees and begging, but you’d leave anyway<br/>Every memory of you is a thousand and one nights,<br/>A thousand and one days<br/>Lying on the floor and crying, asking God why you won’t stay<br/>I ran through hell a thousand times to lie on your bed of nails</p><p>Your eyes turn black, you throw me out<br/>I spend the night on a colleague’s couch<br/>And at three-o-clock I decide it’s done for good<br/>But then you call me back, you call me “dear”<br/>You tell me everything I want to hear<br/>And I rush right back even though I know I shouldn’t</p><p>A sunflower<br/>A beautiful, blooming young flower,<br/>reaching for the sky<br/>My daughter<br/>My beautiful, blooming young daughter<br/>I must give her wings to fly!</p><p>Every minute with you was a thousand and one nights,<br/>A thousand and one days<br/>You can crawl on your knees and beg me, but I’ll leave anyway<br/>Every memory of you was a thousand and one nights,<br/>A thousand and one days<br/>I’m lying on the floor and crying, but even God couldn’t make me stay<br/>I ran through hell a thousand times to escape your bed of nails</p><p>I’ll take the scandal, I’ll take the blame<br/>Let them whisper, but I’m not ashamed<br/>Like a sunflower, I’ll stand tall<br/>Like a sunflower, she’ll stand tall<br/>I won’t wear your ring, I won’t be your bride<br/>I won’t spend my life chained at your side<br/>You can chase us forever, but you’ll always fail<br/>‘Cause I ran through hell a thousand times to escape your bed of nails</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. The Cad! The Pig! The Rat!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>ADAM RIPPON (spoken):<br/>Okay, I know when I’ve been outdone.<br/> <br/>MAXIM TRANKOV (spoken):<br/>So you turned him down. What happened next?<br/> <br/>MIKI ANDO:<br/>Well, by the time I left…there was another girl.<br/> <br/>ANNA POGORILAYA:<br/>The scum!<br/> <br/>MIKI ANDO:<br/>But I guess I didn’t suspect it right away.<br/> <br/>ELENA RADIONOVA:<br/>How come?<br/> <br/>MIKI ANDO:<br/>When I knew her, she was a child<br/>The sweetest angel I’d ever seen<br/>A beautiful blossom of charm and youth<br/>But she was barely seventeen<br/> <br/>ELENA RADIONOVA:<br/>That’s bad!<br/> <br/>ANNA POGORILAYA:<br/>The cad!<br/> <br/>ELENA RADIONOVA:<br/>The pig!<br/> <br/>ANNA POGORILAYA:<br/>The rat!<br/> <br/>TIFFANI ZAKHORSKI:<br/>Even King Henry the Eighth wouldn’t stoop to that!<br/> <br/>ALEXANDER SMIRNOV:<br/>Poor girl!<br/> <br/>KONSTANTIN MENSHOV:<br/>My word!<br/> <br/>MAXIM TRANKOV:<br/>If you ask me, he should be a jailbird!<br/> <br/>EKATERINA BOBROVA:<br/>Nobody’s perfect, but that man’s a creep<br/>To take advantage of a poor little dear<br/>I pray for the little girl, wherever she is<br/> <br/>ELENA ILINYKH:<br/>She’s right here!<br/> <br/>(All heads in the room turn to her)</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Don’t Blame Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Elena Ilinykh summarizes her relationships with Nikita Katsalapov and Nikolai Morozov.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>ELENA ILINYKH:<br/> <br/>Darling, darling, don’t blame me<br/>It’s not my fault God gave me gifts<br/>There’s just so much I like to do, do, do<br/>And I found all the wrong guys to do it with<br/> <br/>Been dancing into hearts since I was thirteen<br/>I know all the tricks to get the boys down on their knees<br/>Almost had a Bukin but his parents got scared<br/>Can’t say I blame them if I’m being fair<br/>Then I met Nikita and my oh my,<br/>Tall, fine, that look in those eyes<br/>Spinning, screaming, can’t get enough<br/>He drove me crazy but he was good at…stuff</p><p>He was my Walmart Bieber<br/>I should’ve run like Selena</p><p>Chasing all the glory, but we needed a change<br/>So we said goodbye to Zhulin and things were arranged<br/>Hello, Kolya, why so charming?<br/>(lowers her voice in an imitation of Morozov)<br/>“‘Cause your beauty’s so disarming.”</p><p>He came up on his white horse<br/>Well, okay, it was a black Porsche<br/>And he said, “Lena, darling, that boy’s no good.<br/>Come home with me and I’ll treat you like I should.”</p><p>He was a modern George Clooney<br/>Red wine and honeymooning</p><p>Darling, darling, don’t blame me<br/>It’s not my fault God gave me gifts<br/>There’s just so much I like to do, do, do<br/>But now I found another guy to do it with</p><p>It’s true, it’s true<br/>Kolya and I had a little rendezvous<br/>Coffee, dinner, pop the champagne<br/>Whispering things in my ear till he drives me insane</p><p>I never dated a guy who owned three houses<br/>Or traveled the world like a movie star<br/>He’s smooth, quick, but oh-so wild<br/>And I forget my promise not to go too far<br/> <br/>Nikita hears the news and it’s more than he can take <br/>Guess I forgot to tell him we were on a break<br/>He’s mad, he’s bad, like he has no chill<br/>He’ll never understand Kolya like I will</p><p>Darling, darling, don’t blame me<br/>It’s not my fault God gave me gifts<br/>There’s just so much I like to do, do, do<br/>But I found a bad boy to do it with</p><p>The press catches wind<br/>and oh, what a sin!<br/>Everyone’s flying off the handle<br/>“The little princess is ruined!”<br/>“And it’s the coach that she’s doin’!”<br/>But what’s life without some scandal?</p><p>“Don’t worry, don’t worry,” that’s what Kolya said<br/>“Forget all the blah-blah-blah and come to bed.”<br/>So I stuck around and I thought I was set <br/>Except he said the same to this ditzy brunette</p><p>Darling, darling, don’t blame me<br/>It’s not my fault God gave me gifts<br/>There’s just so much I like to do, do, do<br/>Turns out he was the wrong guy to do it with</p><p>Guess you could say Nikita was still falling for me<br/>‘Cause he kept falling, and falling, and falling again<br/>Guess you could say Kolya was still falling for her<br/>‘Cause he kept cheating, and cheating, and cheating again!</p><p>Well, what’s a girl to do<br/>When the lovers don’t love you?<br/>I was young, I was willing<br/>but no matter how sexy,<br/>I begged him, I pleaded<br/>but still, they both left me</p><p>So Nikita met a Barbie, took her for a fling<br/>And Kolya gave his side chick a two-carat ring<br/>Now they say I’m the hoe while they sit like saints<br/>And I’m all alone, learned my lesson too late</p><p>But darling, darling, don’t blame me<br/>It’s not my fault God gave me gifts<br/>There’s just so much I like to do, do, do<br/>And I found all the wrong guys to do it with</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Star</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Vasilisa Davankova tells the story of her “epic journey” from Morozov’s girlfriend to YouTube superstar.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>MAXIM TRANKOV (spoken):<br/>
All right, all right, let’s cut to the chase. Who’s the broad who turned Nikolai’s head this time?</p><p>VASILISA DAVANKOVA (spoken):<br/>
Well, first of all, I don’t answer to “broad”.</p><p>MAXIM TRANKOV (spoken):<br/>
Well, what do you answer to, then?</p><p>VASILISA DAVANKOVA (spoken):<br/>
My name is Vasilisa Davankova. But you may call me “Lady Vasya”.</p><p>ADAM RIPPON (spoken):<br/>
Okay, I get it. You’re like a Walmart Lady Gaga.</p><p>VASILISA DAVANKOVA (spoken):<br/>
You’ve got me all wrong, little boy.</p><p>(Vasilisa looks up on the stage, where Elena Ilinykh is still standing)</p><p>VASILISA DAVANKOVA (spoken):<br/>
And I don’t think anyone in this bar would call me ditzy </p><p>MAXIM TRANKOV (spoken):<br/>
Well-</p><p>(Vasilisa gets on the stage and takes the microphone, nudging Ilinykh out of the way).</p><p>VASILISA DAVANKOVA (spoken):<br/>
Pardon me, pardon me.</p><p>(Ilinykh backs off the stage, scowling).</p><p> <br/>
VASILISA DAVANKOVA:<br/>
Lights. Camera. Ahhh.</p><p>I grew up dreaming of fame<br/>
Haven’t you all done the same?<br/>
I was destined to be a queen<br/>
He spotted me as a starlet<br/>
But I was no harlot<br/>
Why, I was only thirteen!</p><p>Darling, I knew I was born to be a star<br/>
An Audrey, a Greta, a Liz Taylor at heart<br/>
I’d give anything to get my name up in lights<br/>
I’d be rolling in the dough and drinking champagne all night<br/>
But it’s a man’s man’s world and there’s only one way up:<br/>
Look good, play dumb, and give them some love</p><p>Well on my yellow brick road, I met my dear friend Annie<br/>
We were besties at first sight on the highway to Malibu<br/>
And one summer night, she let me meet her daddy<br/>
And a few nights later, he became my daddy too<br/>
 <br/>
You know the scandal, you know the story<br/>
I was seventeen, but he looked damn good for forty<br/>
Sorry to the other girl,<br/>
but he was from another world<br/>
Diamonds! Perfume! Chocolate-covered cherries!<br/>
He had to let her go, ‘cause I’m not into sharing</p><p>And he said,</p><p>“Darling, I know you were born to be a star<br/>
So come and give me a little piece of your heart<br/>
Close the curtains, lock the door, turn down the lights<br/>
We’ll be rolling in the sheets and keep the neighbors up all night.”<br/>
It’s a man’s man’s world and I need my ticket up<br/>
So I look good, play dumb, and give him some love</p><p>He’d call me baby<br/>
His fine and sexy lady<br/>
His little bunny<br/>
His sweet sugar honey<br/>
Born to shine, strawberry wine<br/>
Anything I want is mine<br/>
for a touch, a kiss, a granted wish</p><p>On my eighteenth birthday, he got me a surprise<br/>
“The only thing that sparkles as much as your eyes.”<br/>
White gold, two carats<br/>
Hush, hush, don’t tell my parents</p><p>Darling, I was finally flying with the stars<br/>
My man stood up and promised me every inch of his heart<br/>
With one little “I do”, I got my name up in lights<br/>
We were rolling in the dough and drinking champagne all night<br/>
It’s a man’s man’s world but I got my ticket up<br/>
Just gotta look good, play dumb, and give him some love</p><p>For six months, it’s a dream<br/>
I’m his pretty little wife<br/>
But I guess Kolya isn’t one for the married life<br/>
Work, work, work - he’s always got to run<br/>
I wait for him at night, but his day is never done<br/>
He says that’s how he pays for my Chanel<br/>
My Weitzman, my Gucci, my Prada<br/>
But what good’s a charming husband<br/>
if he won’t come around for nada?</p><p>TATIANA NAVKA (spoken):<br/>
Well, actually-</p><p>VASILISA DAVANKOVA:<br/>
Jersey, Moscow, France, then NYC<br/>
He always takes his suitcase but he never takes me<br/>
If I’m his one and only,<br/>
I shouldn’t be this lonely<br/>
The days tick on and I’m sleeping alone<br/>
I‘ve got no one to listen when I talk about my day<br/>
And he’s always so tired even when he comes home<br/>
How could he throw something so precious away?</p><p>Darling, I knew I was born to be a star<br/>
An Audrey, a Greta, a Liz Taylor at heart<br/>
I gave up everything to get my name up in lights<br/>
Now I’m rolling in the dough, but I’ve got no one at night<br/>
The old tricks don’t work and I can’t give him enough<br/>
Except look good, play dumb, but he don’t want my love</p><p>Then one day, he says, “Let’s talk!”<br/>
And I’m like, “That’s what I’ve been trying to do for a year!”<br/>
So I start telling him about my girl friends, hair trends, the goods from Cartier<br/>
But he frowns and says, “No, love.”<br/>
And he’s like, “That’s not what I’m saying, and I don’t give a f*ck!”<br/>
And he starts telling me about this new friend, work friend, some girl outta luck</p><p>Now I ain’t pretending to be a Mendeleev,<br/>
but I knew then that it was over<br/>
He was through with me, wanted more than beauty<br/>
So he found some old lady named Stolbova</p><p>But darling, I knew I was born to be a star<br/>
Even if my man moved on and broke my heart<br/>
I gave up everything to get my name up in lights<br/>
I should be rolling in the dough and drinking champagne all night<br/>
‘Cause he’s just one man in the world, and I can make my own way up:<br/>
I’ve got a million subscribers who can give me some love</p><p>Check out my life, I’ll put it in the vlog<br/>
I auctioned the rock and now I’m living on the hog<br/>
And now I pop up in Kolya’s recommendations<br/>
Look at Lady Vasya, the self-made sensation!</p><p>Yes! I’m a celeb in my own right<br/>
A YouTube superstar<br/>
So hit the bell and like<br/>
Lights. Camera. Ahhhhh.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Mercy on Us All</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Miki, Elena, and Vasilisa reconcile over their shared suffering.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>ELENA ILINYKH (spoken):<br/>Well, good for you, but I still hate you.</p><p>VASILISA DAVANKOVA (spoken):<br/>Me? How could anyone hate me?</p><p>ELENA ILINYKH:<br/>Hmm, let’s see!<br/>You took my man<br/>You took my place<br/>You flirted with him, right in my face!</p><p>VASILISA DAVANKOVA:<br/>Lena, Lena, can’t you see?<br/>He played you the same way he played me</p><p>ELENA ILINYKH:<br/>Well, I never stole his affection<br/>away from another girl </p><p>MIKI ANDO:<br/>What? When you stole his attention,<br/>I disappeared from his world!</p><p>VASILISA DAVANKOVA:<br/>I guess we all got our hard knocks in life</p><p>ELENA ILINYKH:<br/>He takes us high but always lets us fall</p><p>MIKI ANDO:<br/>Rather be a pauper than Morozov’s wife</p><p>VASILISA, ELENA, MIKI:<br/>Have mercy on us all!</p><p>(They strike a dramatic pose on the stage).</p><p>KSENIA STOLBOVA (spoken, from the back of the bar):<br/>Okay, okay, I have one big problem with all of this.</p><p>MIKI ANDO:<br/>Who the hell is this?</p><p>VASILISA DAVANKOVA:<br/>Kolya’s new bitch!</p><p>ELENA ILINYKH:<br/>The old witch?</p><p>KSENIA STOLBOVA (moving towards the stage):<br/>I was twenty-six!</p><p>VASILISA DAVANKOVA (spoken, frowning):<br/>Well, that’s ancient by Kolya’s standards.</p><p>KSENIA STOLBOVA:<br/>Well, how about some words of wisdom <br/>from the so-called “old maid”?<br/>Kolya never seemed to mind<br/>You know I age like Chardonnay</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Anything</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Ksenia Stolbova explains how she got involved with Morozov.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You know my reputation<br/>You saw my coronation<br/>Morticia Addams never looked so fine<br/>It was one for the ages<br/>Poker hand, four aces<br/>Little I knew I was on borrowed time<br/> <br/>I thought I could do anything<br/>So I did anything, and everything, and everything again<br/> <br/>For nine years, I had myself a steady man<br/>But sometimes I can get a little temperamental<br/>He slipped, he fell, I glared, I yelled<br/>And you know how people get all judgmental<br/> <br/>Suddenly they think I’m the biggest bitch of the year<br/>Everybody’s sending Fedor all their love and prayers<br/>You know men are fickle, they never stay for long<br/>He wanted to retire but I wasn’t ready to quit<br/>Couldn’t live my whole life dragging him along…<br/>…so we split<br/> <br/>I wanted to do anything<br/>So I tried anything, and everything, and everything again<br/> <br/>You see, girls, I was kind of in a jam<br/>I was running out of dough<br/>I had burned up all my bridges<br/>Where else was I to go?<br/>So I called up good old Kolya and explained<br/>He said he’d fix my problem and get me back to the top<br/>Asked for nothing in return except my lipstick stain<br/>That man will buy you anything when the panties drop<br/> <br/>He said I could do anything<br/>So I did anything, and everything, and everything again<br/> <br/>Pretty girl, better watch your step<br/>The man’s a player, he’ll mess up your rep<br/>But my name’s already been tainted<br/>That’s the way of the world, ain’t it?<br/> <br/>His mind’s a dagger, his soul is black<br/>No one thought I could play him back<br/>No gloves, no chains, no strings on me<br/>I’m long gone but he still thinks of me<br/> <br/>He said I could have anything<br/>So I took anything, and everything, and everything again<br/> <br/>You’d think a man with six exes<br/>would be used to rejection<br/>but he looked pretty confused<br/>when I ran off with his loot<br/> <br/>For every notch in his belt, there’s a hole in his bank<br/>Now I’m in a penthouse – I forgot to say thanks<br/>He was the playboy, but I got the mansion<br/>He better hope he’s got a pretty pension<br/> <br/>Diamonds, rubies, more than I can hold<br/>You know all I ever wanted was a taste of gold<br/>Don’t look so shocked – he had it coming<br/>I paid my dues – I owe him nothing<br/> <br/>Now he doesn’t have anything<br/>Cause I took anything, and everything, and everything again</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. 78</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>ADAM RIPPON (spoken):<br/>Okay, that’s hella savage.</p><p>TATIANA NAVKA (spoken):<br/>My heart goes out to Poor Chick Number Eight.</p><p>SHAE-LYNN BOURNE (spoken):<br/>Yeah, who’s his next victim?<br/>(crowd gasps)<br/>I mean girlfriend.</p><p>ELENA ILINYKH (spoken):<br/>That poor, innocent little girl…</p><p>ALEXANDER ENBERT (spoken, from the corner):<br/>Well, actually…she’s not so little.</p><p>ADAM RIPPON (spoken):<br/>You mean he’s moved on to the curvy type? I mean, stan Lizzo, y’all.</p><p>ALEXANDER ENBERT (spoken):<br/>Oh, you’re a Lizzo uber too?</p><p>ADAM RIPPON:<br/>It ain’t my fault that I’m out here gettin’ loose</p><p>ALEXANDER ENBERT:<br/>Gotta blame it on the Goose!</p><p>(The whole crowd is staring at them. Enbert blushes and clears his throat).</p><p>ALEXANDER ENBERT (spoken):<br/>Great song, but that’s not what I meant. In fact, Morozov’s bride is actually on the petite side. But you see…she’s not…young.</p><p>SHAE-LYNN BOURNE (spoken, laughing):<br/>You mean this one is actually over thirty?</p><p>ALEXANDER ENBERT (spoken):<br/>Yes. By quite a bit, actually.</p><p>(Crowd murmurs)</p><p>KSENIA STOLBOVA (spoken, rolling her eyes):<br/>You didn’t really think he was marrying another beautiful young woman, did you?</p><p>MAXIM TRANKOV (spoken, annoyed):<br/>Well, forgive me if I was starting to see a pattern!</p><p>KSENIA STOLBOVA (spoken):<br/>Patterns were made to be broken.</p><p>MAXIM TRANKOV (spoken):<br/>That’s not how the saying goes.</p><p>KSENIA STOLBOVA (spoken, scowling):<br/>Whatever. She’s seventy-eight.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Fonda</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>(The band plays a few dramatic bars)</p><p>ALL:<br/>Seventy-eight?</p><p>TAMARA MOSKVINA (half-sung, from the door):<br/>Guess he took the bait.</p><p>ALL:<br/>Seventy-eight?</p><p>TAMARA MOSKVINA (moving through the bar with a smile):<br/>Why so shocked, why so surprised?<br/>I’m still as sharp as I was at twenty-nine<br/>Who says old girls can’t have a little new fun?<br/>(giggles mischievously)<br/>I heard even Tatiana Tarasova’s getting some</p><p>(crowd gasps)</p><p>I was born in a siege,<br/>’41 in St. Pete<br/>But that never slowed me down<br/>I grew up in a Cold War,<br/>but Mama taught me to go for<br/>everything I wanted in town<br/>Only four foot ten,<br/>but I could run with the men<br/>(laughs)<br/>Well, actually, I beat them all<br/>You heard it from my lips<br/>I was smart as a whip<br/>“She be but little” but she’s standing tall</p><p>(steps up on the table)</p><p>Keep moving, keep grooving<br/>Keep aging like Fonda<br/>Cause I’m awfully fond of this wonderful life<br/>Keep working, keep flirting<br/>Keep aging like Fonda<br/>Cause I’m awfully fond of feeling all right</p><p>Seventy-eight<br/>But still feel as good as I did in ‘78<br/>Fringe and tie-dye goddess<br/>I take it if I want it<br/>Honey, I’m in charge of my fate</p><p>(Moskvina poses dramatically)</p><p>So one day I was looking so fine<br/>One-sleeve dress like it was ‘65<br/>And this younger fellow started coming on to me (on to me)<br/>Oh, he was so smitten and weak<br/>Why, he forgot how to speak<br/>It was obvious he wanted me (wanted me)</p><p>(Moskvina rolls her eyes and jumps from the table to the stage)</p><p>Well I’m not dumb, I knew what he was after<br/>I’ve seen a dozen men like him before<br/>But I took his offer – ‘cause hey, free drinks!<br/>Little did he know he was getting more than he bargained for!</p><p>Keep moving, keep grooving<br/>Keep aging like Fonda<br/>Cause I’m awfully fond of this wonderful life<br/>Keep working, keep flirting<br/>Keep aging like Fonda<br/>Cause I’m awfully fond of feeling all right</p><p>Well it turns out he was a good-for-nothing cad<br/>If only he got a ruble for every wife he’s had!<br/>Nothing unexpected,<br/>but the man sure likes the ladies!<br/>He’s had more lovers than yours truly,<br/>and I’m nearly eighty!</p><p>So I put on my thinking cap<br/>And put an end to all his messing<br/>No more of his philandering, womanizing crap<br/>Time to teach that boy a lesson!</p><p>I took his ring<br/>I love the bling<br/>And he doesn’t suspect a thing<br/>Let me snitch,<br/>I won’t get hitched<br/>That guy deserves the altar ditch<br/>Up there in his tux<br/>Betrayal sure sucks<br/>Now the shoe’s on the other foot<br/>If you want to teach the weeds not to grow in your garden<br/>You’ve gotta pull ‘em by the root</p><p>Keep moving, keep grooving<br/>Keep aging like Fonda<br/>Cause I’m awfully fond of interrupting his life<br/>Keep working, keep flirting<br/>Keep aging like Fonda<br/>Cause I’m awfully fond of setting him right</p><p>(Moskvina starts leading the backup dancers into a jazz routine)</p><p>It’s nothing personal<br/>I’m just doing my part<br/>I’m just showing him what happens<br/>when you mess with a young girl’s heart</p><p>Keep moving, keep grooving<br/>Keep aging like Fonda<br/>‘Cause my magic methods go way back<br/>Keep working, keep flirting<br/>Keep aging like Fonda<br/>‘Cause I’m awfully fond of payback</p><p>ANNA POGORILAYA, ELENA RADIONOVA, and TIFFANI ZAKHORSKI:<br/>Way back!<br/>Payback!</p><p>TAMARA MOSKVINA:<br/>Keep moving, keep grooving<br/>Keep aging like Fonda<br/>Cause I’m awfully fond of this wonderful life<br/>Keep working, keep flirting<br/>Keep aging like Fonda<br/>Cause I’m awfully fond of doing what’s right!</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. A Toast to Nikolai</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>MAXIM TRANKOV (spoken):<br/>I don’t believe this</p><p>TAMARA MOSKVINA (spoken):<br/>What, you have a hard time believing Nikolai would fall for such a…mature woman?</p><p>MAXIM TRANKOV (spoken):<br/>Well…you do know he’s broke, right?</p><p>TAMARA MOSKVINA (spoken, laughing):<br/>Of course!<br/>(She smiles)<br/>But that’s not to say he wouldn’t fancy me even if he was loaded.</p><p>VASILISA DAVANKOVA (spoken, clearly grossed out):<br/>Okay, can you just, like…not talk about him like that? It’s bad enough I’ve had to sit through these six other chicks talking about their little love affairs, but this…I can’t take it.</p><p>TAMARA MOSKVINA (spoken):<br/>Well, it’s not like I would ever accept! Just because I’m an older girl doesn’t mean I have to settle for any dumb schmuck, even if he’s thirty years younger than me.<br/>(She walks over to Vasilisa and takes her hands).<br/>Look at yourself. You are a beautiful young girl who’s already built herself an empire just by looking good and smiling into a camera. You are capable of so much in this world – so much that you still don’t understand.<br/>(Moskvina turns to face the whole room)<br/>All of you are incredible, strong women who don’t need to waste another moment of your lives on that good-for-nothing scoundrel.</p><p>TATIANA NAVKA:<br/>She’s right!</p><p>CAROLINE DOUARIN, SHAE-LYNN BOURNE, and MIKI ANDO (harmonizing):<br/>She’s right!</p><p>ELENA ILINYKH:<br/>She’s right!</p><p>VASILISA DAVANKOVA and KSENIA STOLBOVA (harmonizing):<br/>She’s right!</p><p>TAMARA MOSKVINA (smiling):<br/>Of course I’m right!<br/>(Moskvina stands at the center of the stage, gathering the seven women around her)<br/>I don’t wish him ill<br/>I don’t want him killed<br/>I don’t want him to crack his skull from slipping on ice</p><p>KSENIA STOLBOVA:<br/>Even though that would be nice</p><p>TAMARA MOSKVINA:<br/>I have no bad intentions<br/>No sinister inventions<br/>I don’t have dark missions or murderous plans</p><p>ELENA ILINYKH:<br/>Although that would be grand</p><p>TAMARA MOSKVINA:<br/>Instead of chasing revenge,<br/>I’d rather chill with my friends<br/>And let karma do the rest<br/>‘Cause that’s what karma does best</p><p>(She picks up a glass from the table and holds it aloft)</p><p>So let’s have a toast and wish him well<br/>Trust me, he’ll find his own way into hell</p><p>(Moskvina approaches the bartender, and the other women follow her, forming a line. The bartender starts sliding drinks down the counter, and the women catch them one by one. They drink).</p><p>TATIANA NAVKA:<br/>To Nikolai!<br/>Congratulations on your engagement<br/>I wish I could’ve seen your new wife’s face<br/>When she learned it’s a financial arrangement!</p><p>CAROLINE DOUARIN:<br/>To Nikolai!<br/>Don’t bother to write your own vows<br/>At least you won’t worry about any more children,<br/>‘cause she’s well past menopause!</p><p>SHAE-LYNN BOURNE:<br/>To Nikolai!<br/>I heard you’ve got a new lady<br/>She’s actually quite the stunner<br/>For a woman pushing eighty!</p><p>MIKI ANDO:<br/>To Nikolai!<br/>Don’t spend it all on the honeymoon<br/>I suggest you save every kopek<br/>‘cause she’s learned the truth too soon!</p><p>ELENA ILINYKH:<br/>To Nikolai!<br/>How does it feel to be a toy?<br/>Young, pretty, and hopelessly naïve<br/>I guess they call that karma, boy</p><p>VASILISA DAVANKOVA:<br/>To Nikolai!<br/>I’m honored by your invitation<br/>I’d love to swing by and chat,<br/>but I’m an Internet sensation!</p><p>KSENIA STOLBOVA:<br/>To Nikolai!<br/>At least your fiancée’s of legal age<br/>But soon you’ll find McDonald’s<br/>Pays a scanty minimum wage</p><p>TAMARA MOSKVINA:<br/>To Nikolai!<br/>I hate to step on your dreams<br/>But it’s not my fault your mama never taught you <br/>To treat your lady like a queen</p><p>ALL:<br/>To Nikolai!<br/>To Nikolai!<br/>To Nikolai!</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. You Should All Be Ashamed</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>(From a dark corner of the bar, Annabelle Morozov stands up).</p><p>TATIANA NAVKA (spoken, under her breath):<br/>Enter the mistress.</p><p>TAMARA MOSKVINA (spoken, under her breath):<br/>Well, at least he’s got good taste.</p><p>KSENIA STOLBOVA (spoken, under her breath):<br/>Oh, that’s not the mistress. That’s his daughter Annabelle.</p><p>ELENA ILINYKH (spoken, under her breath):<br/>The only woman in Russia under thirty he hasn’t tried to get with.</p><p>VASILISA DAVANKOVA (spoken):<br/>Annie! How wonderful to see you again! You look –</p><p>ANNABELLE MOROZOV (spoken):<br/>You should all be ashamed.</p><p>TATIANA NAVKA (spoken):<br/>Excuse me, honey?</p><p>ANNABELLE MOROZOV (spoken):<br/>For the past two hours, you’ve done nothing but laugh at my father, tear him to pieces for his life decisions, and criticize him for his past mistakes.</p><p>KSENIA STOLBOVA (spoken):<br/>Sounds like a damn good party to me.</p><p>ANNABELLE MOROZOV (spoken):<br/>You know, I really thought I could trust you all.</p><p>MIKI ANDO (spoken):<br/>Annabelle, we didn’t mean –</p><p>ANNABELLE MOROZOV (spoken, to Miki):<br/>We used to play with my dollhouse at Papa’s apartment.</p><p>ELENA ILINYKH (spoken):<br/>Annabelle, I –</p><p>ANNABELLE MOROZOV (spoken, to Elena):<br/>You used to sneak me into movies.</p><p>KSENIA STOLBOVA (spoken):<br/>Well that’s all very nice, but –</p><p>ANNABELLE MOROZOV (spoken, to Ksenia):<br/>You let me wear your dress for my first date.</p><p>SHAE-LYNN BOURNE (spoken):<br/>Look, we weren’t trying to –</p><p>ANNABELLE MOROZOV (spoken, to Shae-Lynn):<br/>You used to take care of me when Papa was away on all his business trips. You took me to the zoo and waited for hours because I wouldn’t leave the spider monkey exhibit.</p><p>CAROLINE DOUARIN (spoken):<br/>Annabelle, listen to me! We –</p><p>ANNABELLE MOROZOV (spoken, to Caroline):<br/>And you – you’re my own mother!<br/>(Turns to Navka and Moskvina)<br/>And I don’t even know who you are. But now I see that all of you have one hobby in common: hating my father.</p><p>TATIANA NAVKA (spoken):<br/>Get out of here, you little brat.</p><p>ANNABELLE MOROZOV (spoken):<br/>I just have one question: why?</p><p>KSENIA STOLBOVA (spoken):<br/>For starters, he’s a two-timing piece of –</p><p>ANNABELLE MOROZOV (spoken):<br/>How could you do this all behind my back…</p><p>ELENA ILINYKH (spoken):<br/>Well, it would’ve been awkward to invite you.</p><p>ANNABELLE MOROZOV (spoken):<br/>…and not invite me?</p><p>(Everyone gasps)</p><p>SHAE-LYNN BOURNE (spoken):<br/>It wouldn’t have been proper.</p><p>(Annabelle throws her coat on the floor, revealing a sparkling showgirl costume, and steps on the stage. The other women back up)</p><p>ANNABELLE MOROZOV (spoken):<br/>Band, please!</p><p>(The band starts playing an old jazz beat. Annabelle shakes her head).</p><p>ANNABELLE MOROZOV (spoken):<br/>Hmm, more modern.</p><p>(The band starts up a country tune)</p><p>ANNABELLE MOROZOV (spoken):<br/>Something edgy.</p><p>(The band starts a hip-hop beat).</p><p>ANNABELLE MOROZOV (spoken):<br/>Bingo!</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Snow White and the Seven Stepmoms</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Annabelle Morozov shares what it's like to be the daughter of the figure skating world's most famous philanderer.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>ANNABELLE MOROZOV (rapping):<br/>
Hey, hey, hey, it’s your girl A-Belle<br/>
Y’all know I’m fine, I’m smooth, I’m able<br/>
Yeah I’m a frost queen<br/>
Your little daydream<br/>
I be leaking the gossip, I be spillin’ the tea<br/>
You know I’m on it like TMZ</p><p>(Singing, to an energetic club beat):<br/>
Snow White and the seven stepmoms<br/>
Seven of her father’s bunnies and sex bombs<br/>
Half a dozen lovers, half a dozen mothers<br/>
And while he was off changing his wives on a dime<br/>
No one even noticed I lost my mom six times	</p><p>(Rapping):<br/>
Born in Moscow<br/>
Living like a boss now<br/>
I was my daddy’s only one<br/>
But not his only girl<br/>
You see he liked to have his fun<br/>
Running ‘round the world<br/>
Mama didn’t like it, but she was a trooper<br/>
Held on like a hero without the super<br/>
But Daddy got bored<br/>
So he hit the floor<br/>
and hooked up with Shae<br/>
(Annabelle points at Shae-Lynn)<br/>
He be feelin’ all right<br/>
Got a new chick all night<br/>
and my mama all day<br/>
O Canada!<br/>
Secret Bourne identity<br/>
A little infidelity<br/>
Never told me why Aunt Shae won’t come for dinner<br/>
But now Mama’s on the street, didn’t know what hit her</p><p>(Singing)<br/>
Snow White and the seven stepmoms<br/>
Seven of her father’s bunnies and sex bombs<br/>
Half a dozen lovers, half a dozen mothers<br/>
And while he was off changing his wives on a dime<br/>
No one even noticed I lost my mom six times</p><p>(Rapping)<br/>
New York, Jersey, getting’ wild and dirty<br/>
Looking fab, pop the tab, but I don’t think he heard me<br/>
He says he loves me on the phone<br/>
But wouldn’t it be lovely if he’d ever come home<br/>
Then it’s papers, courthouse<br/>
Shae-Lynn’s in the poorhouse<br/>
Thought we’d have some father-daughter time<br/>
But now he’s down at the whorehouse<br/>
Pour the man another bottle<br/>
Try the latest model<br/>
Clubbing all night, waking up at noon<br/>
Full speed ahead, going full throttle</p><p>(Singing)<br/>
Snow White and the seven stepmoms<br/>
Seven of her father’s bunnies and sex bombs<br/>
Half a dozen lovers, half a dozen mothers<br/>
And while he was off changing his wives on a dime<br/>
No one even noticed I lost my mom six times	</p><p>(Rapping)<br/>
Me and Dad, we go nomad<br/>
Till I wanna go mad<br/>
Tokyo, Moscow<br/>
Another stop in Glasgow<br/>
Airplanes, fast lane<br/>
Layover in the John Wayne</p><p>His love is international, so irrational<br/>
No end to his passion, no<br/>
Raise a toast to Bacchus<br/>
Leather pants, trying to rock it<br/>
Goin loco like Martin<br/>
Six A.M., the party’s just starting<br/>
No sweat, no worries, I’m safe in bed<br/>
Love you but I can’t love the beast in your head</p><p>(Singing)<br/>
Snow White and the seven stepmoms<br/>
Seven of her father’s bunnies and sex bombs<br/>
Half a dozen lovers, half a dozen mothers<br/>
And while he was off changing his wives on a dime<br/>
No one even noticed I lost my mom six times	</p><p>(Rapping)<br/>
Now he’s bringing home a geisha<br/>
all the way from Asia<br/>
And she’s got all his attention<br/>
But he’s got sinful intentions<br/>
And he swears he’s getting sober<br/>
But I know it’s never over<br/>
She’s sweet like candy<br/>
A Pink Lady Sandy<br/>
He’s all over her like an olden-days dandy<br/>
Aunt Miki treats me like a princess ‘cause she’s always wanted a daughter<br/>
But when that daughter comes, their love’s dead in the water<br/>
I stood in the doorway and watched it fall apart<br/>
‘Cause Daddy got scared and he threw her to the sharks</p><p>(Singing)<br/>
Snow White and the seven stepmoms<br/>
Seven of her father’s bunnies and sex bombs<br/>
Half a dozen lovers, half a dozen mothers<br/>
And while he was off changing his wives on a dime<br/>
No one even noticed I lost my mom six times	</p><p>(Rapping)<br/>
By then there was a swan girl<br/>
But next she was a gone girl<br/>
And I made the mistake of studying with her one night<br/>
(Annabelle points to Vasilisa)<br/>
My daddy couldn’t resist and he had to take a bite<br/>
Next time he asks to meet my new friend,<br/>
remind me to tell him she’s a lesbian<br/>
Best friend, girlfriend<br/>
Weird to call you stepmom<br/>
Hotel, don’t tell<br/>
Silk sheets, bath bombs<br/>
All night, daylight<br/>
He won’t rest till he gets some</p><p>Now my best friend’s my mama<br/>
How’s that for drama?<br/>
Till he drives her mad, she’s climbing up the walls<br/>
Ripping out her hair, there’s no escape at all<br/>
And my papa’s got no care in the world<br/>
‘Cause he’s already lining up the next three girls<br/>
She had to get out, she ran like the wind<br/>
And I never saw my bestie again</p><p>(Singing)<br/>
Snow White and the seven stepmoms<br/>
Seven of her father’s bunnies and sex bombs<br/>
Half a dozen lovers, half a dozen mothers<br/>
And while he was off changing his wives on a dime<br/>
No one even noticed I lost my mom six times</p><p>(Rapping)<br/>
Then we’re on a one-way ticket to nowhere<br/>
‘Cause Daddy’s new friend got a dose of the “no fair”<br/>
(Annabelle points to Ksenia)<br/>
Out of luck, out of money, and out of a man<br/>
So she’s starting fresh and Pop’s got a plan<br/>
Heigh-ho, heigh-ho!<br/>
Welcome to Perm!<br/>
Where it’s so damn cold that even timber won’t burn!<br/>
Falling down, falling down,<br/>
No forest through the trees<br/>
‘cause there’s nothing else to see!<br/>
Practically in Siberia<br/>
So off the grid, it’s eerie, yeah<br/>
No friends, no fun<br/>
No department stores<br/>
Silence isn’t golden<br/>
I can’t take it no more!</p><p>So it’s Dad, me, and her<br/>
All bundled up in fur<br/>
Media’s on it, making a stir<br/>
And he swears on his heart that this chick’s the one<br/>
But Ksyusha got fed up and went on the run<br/>
Offered me a cut of the dough she took<br/>
I’m underplaying when I say Daddy was shook</p><p>Six months clean, not a “she” in sight<br/>
Real nice, quiet nights, nothing left but cold ice<br/>
But now there’s an old lady dressing in white<br/>
Old habits, back at it<br/>
Roll the reel, same spiel<br/>
Can’t help the way he feels<br/>
New rings, dove wings<br/>
And we’re back on the hamster wheel</p><p>(Singing)<br/>
Snow White and the seven stepmoms<br/>
Seven of her father’s bunnies and sex bombs<br/>
Half a dozen lovers, half a dozen mothers<br/>
And while he was off changing his wives on a dime<br/>
No one even noticed I lost my mom six times</p><p>(Rapping)<br/>
So keep on comparing stories<br/>
About all his drunken orgies<br/>
I know all his little secrets<br/>
All the lies behind the glory<br/>
I was there for every minute<br/>
Every breakup, I was in it<br/>
And I know he’s too far gone no matter how hard you try to spin it</p><p>(To the band, spoken)<br/>
Break it down!</p><p>(Rapping)<br/>
Skeletons in the closet, he’s got a whole catacomb<br/>
Smiling for the camera, raising hell back at home<br/>
He’s racking up hits like Grande<br/>
Weekend fun’s gone by Monday<br/>
For every one he dumps, two more pull in<br/>
His hand’s full of trumps, he keeps on rollin’</p><p>They come and they go<br/>
They get high, they get low<br/>
They say hi, they say bye,<br/>
but they never say no<br/>
The girls keep on workin’ it<br/>
Even though nothing’s permanent<br/>
The wine, the dine, the good good time<br/>
Ain’t no ride or die till the end of the line<br/>
‘Cause number one in his heart’s always been mine<br/>
And he says I’m still his favorite girl, hey-hey<br/>
‘Cause while they run like bulls, I still stay<br/>
And I’m the only one he won’t throw away</p><p>(Singing)<br/>
Snow White and the seven stepmoms<br/>
Seven of her father’s bunnies and sex bombs<br/>
Half a dozen lovers, half a dozen mothers<br/>
And while he was off changing his wives on a dime<br/>
No one even noticed I lost my mom six times</p><p>(Rapping)<br/>
He still thinks I’m his loyal soldier<br/>
But little does he know it’s over<br/>
I’m not giving up another mama<br/>
I’m just hoping he gets his karma</p><p>I drag him harder than RuPaul<br/>
I’m just saying what’s true, y’all<br/>
If he’s my father,<br/>
I’m Skywalker<br/>
Got my lightsaber out, I’m here for some sparring<br/>
Yeah I’m queen of outer space – tell ‘em to call me Gagarin<br/>
I’m not just his baby, I’m a grown-ass lady<br/>
I got the brains and the looks like the mama who made me<br/>
I’m a self-starter, I be making a killing<br/>
Welcome to teatime, you bet I be spilling</p><p>(Singing)<br/>
Snow White and the seven stepmoms<br/>
Setting off my father’s secrets and truth bombs<br/>
Half a dozen lovers, half a dozen mothers<br/>
You know all of his loving ain’t worth a dime<br/>
So let’s spill the tea and hit it one more time</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Sister Queens</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A great big finale to wrap things up.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>TAMARA MOSKVINA (spoken):<br/>Darling, you haven’t lost your mother six times. All of your mothers are right here.</p><p>ANNABELLE MOROZOV (spoken):<br/>I don’t get it.</p><p>ELENA ILINYKH and KSENIA STOLBOVA (harmonizing):<br/>You didn’t lose us.<br/>You didn’t lose us.</p><p>SHAE-LYNN BOURNE:<br/>You’re part of our family as long as you choose us.</p><p>CAROLINE DOUARIN and MIKI ANDO (harmonizing):<br/>You’ll never lose us.<br/>You’ll never lose us.</p><p>TATIANA NAVKA:<br/>As long as you wish, you belong to us</p><p>VASILISA DAVANKOVA (spoken):<br/>Okay, can I just call you my sister? Because it’s freaking weird to be your mom.</p><p>TAMARA MOSKVINA (spoken):<br/>Fair enough.</p><p>ELENA ILINYKH and VASILISA DAVANKOVA (harmonizing):<br/>We’re your sisters.</p><p>MIKI ANDO and KSENIA STOLBOVA (harmonizing):<br/>We’ll care for you.</p><p>CAROLINE DOUARIN:<br/>We love you, darling</p><p>SHAE-LYNN BOURNE:<br/>And we hope you love us too!</p><p>ANNABELLE MOROZOV:<br/>I am your sister!<br/>I belong to you!</p><p>TATIANA NAVKA:<br/>We are sisters<br/>We will stand against the storm</p><p>CAROLINE DOUARIN:<br/>And we stand together<br/>That’s what sisters are for</p><p>SHAE-LYNN BOURNE:<br/>In a world of scheming men,<br/>can’t let the fox get through the hens<br/>So it’s best to be close with your coop</p><p>MIKI ANDO:<br/>If one woman’s a warhorse<br/>seven are an armed force<br/>They can’t stop us if we come as a group</p><p>ELENA ILINYKH:<br/>Welcome to our little sorority<br/>where getting the best of men is our first priority!</p><p>VASILISA DAVANKOVA:<br/>And we’re all superstars<br/>Get up here and show ‘em who you are!</p><p>KSENIA STOLBOVA:<br/>There’s so much left in store<br/>So come on, girl, what are you waiting for?</p><p>ANNABELLE MOROZOV:<br/>I always wanted a sister<br/>And now I’ve got a brood<br/>It’s a bit overwhelming<br/>But I will follow you!</p><p>MIKI ANDO (spoken):<br/>Annabelle. You do have a sister by blood – a half-sister.</p><p>ANNABELLE MOROZOV (spoken):<br/>What?</p><p>MIKI ANDO (spoken):<br/>My daughter. Sunflower.</p><p>(Annabelle gasps)</p><p>MIKI ANDO (spoken):<br/>Nikolai never told you?</p><p>ANNABELLE MOROZOV (spoken):<br/>Never!</p><p>MIKI ANDO (spoken):<br/>I’ll take you to meet her sometime. I’m sure you two will get along just fine.</p><p>TATIANA NAVKA:<br/>Seven queens in our own right<br/>Bound by our questionable taste in men<br/>But with each other’s sisterhood,<br/>we won’t make that mistake again!</p><p>CAROLINE DOUARIN and SHAE-LYNN BOURNE:<br/>Seven brides for one lucky brother<br/>who never deserved us at all</p><p>CAROLINE DOUARIN:<br/>But now we’ve got each other’s friendship</p><p>SHAE-LYNN BOURNE:<br/>And I’ll be there whenever you call</p><p>MIKI ANDO and KSENIA STOLBOVA:<br/>Men are overrated<br/>Sisterhood lives on<br/>When all the rice clouds have faded,<br/>our comradery ain’t gone</p><p>ELENA ILINYKH and VASILISA DAVANKOVA:<br/>We are survivors<br/>And no man can make that change<br/>My mama raised a fighter<br/>And a fighter I will stay!</p><p>TATIANA NAVKA, CAROLINE DOUARIN, and SHAE-LYNN BOURNE (harmonizing)<br/>Fighters we will stay!</p><p>TAMARA MOSKVINA:<br/>Forget all the rules about how girls can’t be friends<br/>Clearly those fools never met this bunch<br/>Linking their hands, forming a circle with no end</p><p>We are all one<br/>Whether old or young<br/>Although “old” is a relative term</p><p>We’re all diamonds<br/>Sparkling, precious, and shining<br/>Patient – we’ll all get our turn!</p><p>ANNABELLE MOROZOV (rapping):<br/>Don’t need no nations when we’ve got a seven-woman army<br/>Bye-bye Clyde, cause it’s a whole gang of Bonnies<br/>The dudes are lining up but we pay no attention<br/>‘Cause most of the fellows don’t deserve a mention<br/>Ain’t stepping aside for no guy who won’t see<br/>That every girl in this world is born as a queen<br/>Hey hey!</p><p>TATIANA NAVKA, CAROLINE DOUARIN, and SHAE-LYNN BOURNE:<br/>We’re queens!</p><p>MIKI ANDO, ELENA ILINYKH, and VASILISA DAVANKOVA:<br/>Queens!</p><p>TAMARA MOSKVINA, KSENIA STOLBOVA, and ANNABELLE MOROZOV:<br/>Queens!</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you to everyone who has given kudos on this work! It was a new, fun project for me and I hope you all enjoyed it. Also, special thanks to my friend Meaghan for introducing me to the fabulous musical Six, which inspired this crazy piece. I'm planning to finish up many of the incomplete fics I've posted soon, so don't forget to subscribe so you can get notifications when I update them!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>